>me<

Welcome to my World..

Spend all your time waiting For that second chance For a break that would make it okay There's always one reason To feel not good enough And it's hard at the end of the day I need some distraction Oh beautiful release Memory seeps from my veins Let me be empty And weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight In the arms of an angel Fly away from here From this dark cold hotel room And the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage Of your silent reverie You're in the arms of the angel May you find some comfort there So tired of the straight line And everywhere you turn There's vultures and thieves at your back And the storm keeps on twisting You keep on building the lie That you make up for all that you lack It don't make no difference Escaping one last time It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees In the arms of an angel Fly away from here From this dark cold hotel room And the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage Of your silent reverie You're in the arms of the angel May you find some comfort there You're in the arms of the angel May you find some comfort here

>Reminisce<

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

-happened again!!!!!-

Its a Wednesday and i am already hysterical. Two more days for the weekend..yaaay....havent been sleeping well from quite sometime now .Bad dreams, claustrophobic at times, weird thoughts, sense of loosing someone the minute i close my eyes.....all sorts of things on my head. I guess i should calm down....so i keep telling myself that.

Today managed to stay back at home even though i am feeling miserable about that fact that i did not go to work considering there was shit loads of things to take care off...but what the hell????

Lately have been going out at night with a crazy bunch of friends just driving around, having tea at a small roadside shop…..( by now the shopkeeper knows ur names and also out pet names. so u can imagine)..These late night drives have been keeping me awake...Driving at a speed of 124-140 kms on the ring road and blasting snoop-dogg followed by some house music…..actually for a temporary period of time eases my head....
Another confession.....Had quit smoking up some 3 years back...hell yeah....i am the been there done that type...but had quit the very day I stepped into this city and proudly enough i say that hadnt touched it till these crazy drives began....
it was probably a Tuesday night.2 weeks back...the boys were running out on the "stuff"…..so we all agreed that we shall go and buy some more. I was excited coz i wanted to see how they do it here….. So i got myself comfortable in the car, while Mr. Moo drove at a speed wherein if i wouldnt have been sitting in between the other two crazy mutts…..surely would have flown out of the window...

I realized we were slowing down and Mr. Moo now drove at a speed wherein a turtle and i literally mean it...…..a turtle could put us to shame....Neways...We drove slowly next to the kerb and Mr. Moo was advised by all never to apply brakes but keep driving at this annoyingly slow pace….he honked once outside a small tent next to the kerb on the pavement….nothing...we drove a little further and took a U-turn and drove back at the same pace in front of the tent….Honked again...Nothing....
Geez…..we did this about 7 times and i was getting irritated..(Considering i suffer from absolute impatience in everything i am involved in)..doing this 7 times had got me rattling off in Hindi to the bunch....Suddenly i was asked to shut up!!!..
Shut up.....Who the F@$* said that...neways…..i gave up.....a small lil man, sleepy but neatly dressed in trousers and tucked in shirt walked up to the car...Mr. King held out a bunch of bills out of his window and said" 100"
I was watching all this with fascination coz there were cops patrolling those streets all the time and the boys were pro…
Mr.King grabbed the small lil packet from the small man's hand and we zoomed off...
The next question? Who is gonna roll it...the entire bunch turned their faces out of the window and nobody seemed to want to do it…..just then Mr. Moo teased me by asking me to roll it…..and i agreed..
I cleaned it, mixed it…..rolled it...( realized i am still good at it)

And the first one was lit….by now i wanted to taste it once….just once…..it’s been such a long time...just one....and as i held it between my fingers and the smoke rolled out of my mouth..
I felt…..i felt....nothing...
We all got comfortable in the car, Mr.Moo driving steadily, the joint kept passing and the music kept playing.....

Currently feeling: High

Listening to:when i'm gone....( http://www.bolt.com/douglas-lee/video/2130901 )

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| This angel fell @ 9:27 PM |

__________

>The Fallen<
My name is...it doesn't matter....All you need to know is that I am a psychoneurotic.I am paranoid.I am obsessive.I am unpredictable. I am jealous.I am domineering.I am over-protective.I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder. I am a nervous wreck.I am hydrophobic.I am confused. I am guilty.I suffer from mnemophobia.I am unjustified.I am disturbed, demented, deranged and distracted. I am Acrophobic.I am a pessimist.I believe that any man is a sad excuse for a human being.I wish killing men would be legalised. I would have been seen carrying a shot gun with me all the time.I sincerely believe that yin is stronger than yang. I still believe that fire spitting dragons exist even now. I am a crazy shit headed control freak. You are probably much more saner than me..And i probably dont give a shit...