>me<

Welcome to my World..

Spend all your time waiting For that second chance For a break that would make it okay There's always one reason To feel not good enough And it's hard at the end of the day I need some distraction Oh beautiful release Memory seeps from my veins Let me be empty And weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight In the arms of an angel Fly away from here From this dark cold hotel room And the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage Of your silent reverie You're in the arms of the angel May you find some comfort there So tired of the straight line And everywhere you turn There's vultures and thieves at your back And the storm keeps on twisting You keep on building the lie That you make up for all that you lack It don't make no difference Escaping one last time It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees In the arms of an angel Fly away from here From this dark cold hotel room And the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage Of your silent reverie You're in the arms of the angel May you find some comfort there You're in the arms of the angel May you find some comfort here

>Reminisce<

Friday, August 17, 2007

-me and her.....-

I watch you as you walked past me..not recognising.You turn around and i think you look at me.I hold your gaze and i hold you tight.My dream comes shattering down ans i see her walk past me,like a gentle breeze,shining like the brightest star.Your smile breaks me up.weakens me.But you never smiled at me.How can i forget tat?This illusion in my head, i want to get rid of.I feel lost in this world of faceless people.But i am not the one, i know.She lights up your life like the brightest star.I see you holding her,your fingers running through her silky hair, caressing her face.
But how do i forget?I was also a part.You touched my face, ran your fingers through my silky hair, you caressed my face.Didnt you ever see me standing right there.These are the times when you make me laugh, when you make me mad, when you make me see...

Currently feeling: Down

Listening to: my thoughts.....

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| This angel fell @ 2:07 PM |

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Monday, August 06, 2007

-How beautiful is the night.....-

A dewy freshness fills the silent air.It's almost 3 o clock in the night and i'm still awake thinking......thinking what? Got to really find the answer.It has been quite sometime now that i am sitting with the white sheet of paper and writing nothing.But i know i have a lot of things to write.

Are you awake like me and thinking.I don't think you are......if you could just be awake and look beyond your windows, you could have seen the halcyon sky through which the silent air is drifting away with an earnest promise of a cognent tommorrow.A tommorrow which would be so disparate than today.Probably no, you are sleeping.

Probably you would be lying in your cradle of chimera with your throe all kept outside the door of your room.With you head lying on the soft pillow i can see a smile on your face.You are happy .....isn't it?Are you happy or is it you are still awake like me and trying to catch your bubble with both hands.Don't do so or it might burst, it might burst so painfully that may impede your joy with tears.Tears , they are so precious don't let them go.Keep them with you and go to sleep.Don't open the door and let your worries wake you up from your quietus.
I don't know whether you still believe it or not that i am awake because of you.Why?
Don't ask me as i don't know...don't ask me as i am searching for a retort.Why is it that everytime i see the little window opening up, i am filled with beautitude in me and everytime we bid farewell i feel the obscurity settle in.I just can't accept the truth that this obscurity is all of me to stay with and those moments spend with you is ephemeral.Trust me, i never want the moment to end.

But i know, it will, maybe not today, maybe not tommorrow, but sometime, someday.

Yes, I am possessive, but like a little girl who would not like to share her loved toy with anyone.Is it really iniquitous to do so??

I really don't know but maybe you are right.So even now as you go away to your cradle of chimera i would not hinter but i shall wait, i'll wait outside the door of your room and safely keep your worries with me so that your bubble does not burst.Trust me i will.

Yonder see the morning blink
The sun is up, and up must I,
To work and dress, to eat and drink
To look at things and to talk and think
And work, god knows why

Good morning, wake up from the cradle and catch your reverie because it's there waiting for you and let me go to sleep with your worries.

It's all that i want
It's all that i can give
It's all that i'm thinking.....

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| This angel fell @ 5:20 PM |

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Thursday, August 02, 2007

-It's dark in here....-

It's early morning, around six thirthy-ish, and she is lying in bed and her legs dangling on the bed side.You can see those dry yellowish festerings from the burn marks on her wrist, you can figure that she hasnt slept for a long time.I wonder what is she doing, while her head is under the pillow and the orange sunlight gently peeping through those dark shadowy linen mantles.The palls have become a dark brown in color from the not so often washes.For a second she realises that i am around, for a fraction of a minute she stops, her feet are still and it seems like she is trying to smell the air, trying to catch an unknown scent of an intruder.I could see her muscles stiffen and her hand slowly wriglling under the pillow.As i wait patiently, slowly my eyes get used to the darkness.There was a heap of unwashed lingerie lying on the bed.The entire room had a distinct smell of ichors.It was damp, it was smelly..it was dead.As i noticed while my heart throbbed a 100 beats a second ,there was somthing shining under the pillow. I figured it was her armor.She was protecting herself.But from what? who would come to her in this hell? i slowly moved towards her,footsteps no no, i was gliding atleast trying to so as to not make any sound to startle her.As i reached closer, i caught a glimpse of a book she was reading, was it the tale of.....?I am not sure.All of a sudden i found myself close enough to her so that i could gently lay my hand on her shoulder.I wanted to ask her..why?how? when?...And all this while she was reading that book as her feet kept that monotonous oscillation in the air.I was sleepy from this intense chase lasting 45 minutes or so.I was tired and hungry.I couldnt drop my eyelids whilst i had to squint them a couple of times from the strain of walking in the dark.Suddenly, there was a strange sound. As if someone tried to poke a knife through a pillow.As i raised my eyes i saw a pretty little face smiling at me.It was her,she knew i had come to take her away.Far from this hatful state where she had lived for epochs.She had a perfactly round face, a light brown dull, knotted lifeless hair that flowed down her shoulders.And she was smiling.

I felt sleepy and tired and there was a sticky thick fluid around me. Among all this there was something strange that i recall....she had no eyes.they were just no eyes, only dry sockets..empty.

And all i remember after that is i fell asleep as the dark mantles closed upon me from all sides.

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| This angel fell @ 5:11 PM |

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>The Fallen<
My name is...it doesn't matter....All you need to know is that I am a psychoneurotic.I am paranoid.I am obsessive.I am unpredictable. I am jealous.I am domineering.I am over-protective.I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder. I am a nervous wreck.I am hydrophobic.I am confused. I am guilty.I suffer from mnemophobia.I am unjustified.I am disturbed, demented, deranged and distracted. I am Acrophobic.I am a pessimist.I believe that any man is a sad excuse for a human being.I wish killing men would be legalised. I would have been seen carrying a shot gun with me all the time.I sincerely believe that yin is stronger than yang. I still believe that fire spitting dragons exist even now. I am a crazy shit headed control freak. You are probably much more saner than me..And i probably dont give a shit...