>me<

Welcome to my World..

Spend all your time waiting For that second chance For a break that would make it okay There's always one reason To feel not good enough And it's hard at the end of the day I need some distraction Oh beautiful release Memory seeps from my veins Let me be empty And weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight In the arms of an angel Fly away from here From this dark cold hotel room And the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage Of your silent reverie You're in the arms of the angel May you find some comfort there So tired of the straight line And everywhere you turn There's vultures and thieves at your back And the storm keeps on twisting You keep on building the lie That you make up for all that you lack It don't make no difference Escaping one last time It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees In the arms of an angel Fly away from here From this dark cold hotel room And the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage Of your silent reverie You're in the arms of the angel May you find some comfort there You're in the arms of the angel May you find some comfort here

>Reminisce<

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

-The day i lost my dogs and found my kids...-

Monday’s are a bitch, was the thought in my mind as I headed to work. With the Monday blues in my head and i hated every minute of the journey. Something within me told me its going to be a long day and a tough one too.
I had just settled down at my desk and i realized that i haven’t fed my dogs. So i called Sarita (my bestest of friend in this city) and i asked her to feed them.( Them being Simba and Liz)
Hours passed and it was around 1330 hrs. I hear my cell phone ringing and i jump across a huge rack of papers (that i am yet to sort out) to reach for me phone. Sarita is calling. Maybe to tell me that she will reach home a little late. Maybe to tell me that she has already fed the dogs. Maybe to tell me that they have chewed up the house again. Maybe to tell me that they have dirtied the patio. Maybe to tell me the maid has not turned up. Maybe...
I pick up the phone. And all i can make out is some mumbling. I try to form sentences out of those ruffled words and I realize she was saying" Both are missing, both are missing".
It did not strike me that she was talking bout Simba and Liz. How can they be missing. The last thing i realized was that i was mumbling myself. I grabbed my purse and started running towards the road where i could get a Rick.
As I reached my block i saw Sarita walking down the lane looking around. That was when reality struck me. They are indeed missing. Both of them. The neighbors told us that some salesmen around 12 visited the house in the afternoon. My heart sank as they told me that they heard them barking even then. But someone took them away on a 2 wheeler. The thought of never seeing them ever was bedded in my head by then.
By this time i was running toward the house thinking they might have been on the terrace or got locked up in one of the rest rooms. Sarita must have forgotten to check. As I ran into the house i saw their chew dolls lying around and like a flash i went back in time. Liz would never leave her chew doll even for a split second. She wouldn’t have let go of it even while she is in bed. I was used to seeing her with it in her mouth 27 par 7.
I rushed into the house only to find that it was empty. Before i could realize Sarita was asking me to calm down. Later it came to my knowledge that I was hysterically screaming out their names and crying at the same time. Little did i know that the worst is yet to come.
Next thing i know i was running on the lanes, by lanes around my house bare feet and screaming their names out again and again. My worry was for the elder one (that being Simba) he is the more scared and lost types. And somewhere inside my mind I consoled myself that Liz (being a Lab) would try to find her way back home. But Simba, my poor little boy, God please help him (I am an atheist by the way). I turned to look around and i saw Sarita on her bike following me and so i stopped running. She suggested we go on the bike looking for them. I also agreed to the idea as i was nearly fainting from the exhaustion that lasted for an hour by now. I already had my neighbors fanning out in all directions to look for both of them.
As we drove we searched both sides of the lanes, behind every car parked on the curb, behind every bush in the neighborhood. With every gaze my heart skipped a beat and i lost a minute of my life. Then out of the blue, I think i saw a bushy tail behind a car. I think i saw. Not sure. I started running towards it as soon as i got down from the bike. I screamed out Simba, Simba baby...and there he was......never before has he looked so handsome and beautiful at the same time. He still did not notice me. He was staring at the street dog standing right in front of him. As I called his name and slowed down my pace I heard my heart beat so loudly as if it would pop right out of my mouth.

He looked at me and froze for a millisecond. Suddenly i see him running and bouncing towards me with all his might. I have never seen him happier in life than that minute. There was my boy. My life support system. My son.

I managed to break into a smile as i hugged him hard and close to my heart with all my might. At least i found one. At least i have one.
It dawned upon me that Liz must be frightened too. Poor girl, she is only 4 months old. How could i do this? I have been such a terrible mother. Shame on you. You don’t deserve to have kids.
The search began again, only his time there was hope, a faint streak of hope. I was considering calling in a few more friends for the search operation. Also thinking bout lodging a complaint with the Local station and announcing a reward for the missing pup. Liz is cute. Cute is and understatement. She is pretty.....Nah..even that is too small a word for her. As all these thoughts kept racing in my head, Sarita screamed there she is.I saw her sitting on the porch , tied to a leash. Is it her? Why is she not recognizing me? She was sitting royally as if she has been sitting on a throne of soft silk. She looked contempt. As i walked towards her, she slowly rose and whined. Considering i have never given her a reason to whine till now let alone putting a leash on her collar. I got furious. They were a bunch of college going kids who found her on the road being chased by street dogs. I screamed at them, but realized that without them Liz would not have been safe. I apologized quickly. As she walked out of their house she started running towards my lane. She ducked and she jumped never losing her speed. It was difficult for me to keep pace. But i was happy

seeing her run straight for the house. I found my girl too. By now the tears had dried on my face leaving dark black eye color running down till my chin.
I had my neighbors pouring in to see whether they both are fine and all i could say was that i am fine now. So this is how i found my kids- a 4 month old and the other a year old.My life, my reason to rush back home every single day of my life.

I love them more than anything, more than anybody.....

|

| This angel fell @ 4:37 PM |

__________

>The Fallen<
My name is...it doesn't matter....All you need to know is that I am a psychoneurotic.I am paranoid.I am obsessive.I am unpredictable. I am jealous.I am domineering.I am over-protective.I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder. I am a nervous wreck.I am hydrophobic.I am confused. I am guilty.I suffer from mnemophobia.I am unjustified.I am disturbed, demented, deranged and distracted. I am Acrophobic.I am a pessimist.I believe that any man is a sad excuse for a human being.I wish killing men would be legalised. I would have been seen carrying a shot gun with me all the time.I sincerely believe that yin is stronger than yang. I still believe that fire spitting dragons exist even now. I am a crazy shit headed control freak. You are probably much more saner than me..And i probably dont give a shit...